I run monthly networking meetings when everyone else meets weekly. People think I’m crazy.
They assume more contact means stronger relationships. The data suggests otherwise.
I’ve noticed that relationships are stronger in my Network In Action groups because they’re built outside the meetings, not during them. Members do one-on-one meetings between our monthly gatherings. They text each other. They stay connected through our virtual platform.
**They know each other well.**
Here’s what most networking groups miss: frequency creates familiarity, but depth creates trust. Harvard research confirms that vulnerability sends a clear signal about weaknesses and need for help, which builds the foundation for real collaboration.
The Discomfort Strategy
I intentionally make business owners uncomfortable in our monthly meetings. We do activities that create vulnerability so people can build deeper personal relationships.
This goes against everything traditional networking teaches. Most groups avoid discomfort.
But I’ve watched business owners share their losses and wins, then become best friends. That friendship translates directly to their bottom line through lifetime relationships instead of short-term transactions.
The math supports this approach. Small businesses report that referrals generate customers with 59% higher lifetime value. When you build relationships that last decades instead of quarters, those referrals compound.
Why Monthly Beats Weekly
Weekly meetings create surface-level check-ins. Monthly meetings force deeper engagement.
When you only see someone once a month, every interaction matters more. You can’t waste time on small talk. You invest in knowing them at more than a superficial level.
Between meetings, members have space to process, reflect, and intentionally reconnect. The relationship develops in real business contexts, not just conference rooms.
Long-term relationships generate more referrals than short-term connections. Period.
The Affinity Advantage
Our groups can be affinity-based: veterans, faith communities, college alumni. When people share common bonds plus intentional vulnerability, referral generation accelerates.
Shared values create faster trust. Shared experiences provide deeper context. Combined with our monthly depth model, these groups build business relationships that span careers.
I’m building my Kyle group to 30 members using this approach. Each member represents a lifetime relationship, not a networking contact.
**The difference shows up in their businesses, not just their contact lists.**
The Real ROI
Most networking measures connections made. I measure relationships sustained.
McKinsey research reveals that vulnerability builds the trust necessary for teams to succeed. The same principle applies to business networks.
When business owners get uncomfortable together once a month, they create bonds that generate referrals for decades. When they meet weekly for surface-level updates, they create familiarity that fades when someone stops attending.
The choice isn’t between meeting more or less. It’s between building relationships that last or connections that don’t.
I choose depth over frequency every time.